As a mother, I am a firm believer in taking care of yourself first and foremost. If you are not well, be it physically or mentally, then you are no help to anyone else, let alone your husband or child(ren).
I was very sick over the weekend. I came down with a high fever on Saturday afternoon and felt awful. It didn't get better on Sunday, so I went to the clinic inside Walmart to see what was wrong. Come to find out, I had an ear infection. I was surprised; I couldn't tell you the last time I'd had an ear infection. I think I was probably around 2 or 3 years old. At the clinic they loaded me up with medication and sent me home with instructions to feel better. And that was what I intended to do.
So, I spent the remainder of Mother's Day resting and trying to get over this infection. However, come Monday, I was no better and had to miss work. My lovely mother came in the morning and got Sophie and took her to the sitter's so I could rest. And rest I did. I think I slept more that day than I was actually awake. But the combination of lots of rest and meds did the trick, and I was feeling better and able to return to work on Tuesday.
During those 2 1/2 days that I was sick, I did nothing but focus on myself and getting well. I didn't feed Sophie, play with her, or give her a bath like I normally do. I left Chase in charge of all those things, and knew he'd be more than capable of handling it. Because, luckily for me, I have an amazing husband who is an active and present parent. We co-parent Sophie; everything is 50/50. I can honestly say, neither one of us does more than the other. So I knew when I needed him, he would be willing and able to step up and take over my half, while I recovered.
However, the point of this post is not that I was sick and my husband helped out. The point is, I felt no guilt (or very little) for putting it all on him for those few days, so that I could focus on getting myself well. This brings me to the larger point I'm trying to get at: Mothers need to stop putting themselves, and especially their health, on the back burner. The most important thing a mother can do for her family is take care of herself. Trust me, your family loves you, and wants you to be healthy. So if you are one of those moms who is too busy to go to the doctor when you're sick, runs herself ragged, only focuses on her husband and child's wellbeing and not her own, then I ask you to stop right now, and put yourself first!
I read some inspiring words from another blogger today on this same subject. She is a cancer survivor and a soon to be mother of three. Here is some of her advice on motherhood and putting your health first, that I'd like to share. As a mother who faced a life threatening illness, and won, I find her beyond inspiring.
"As mothers, we owe it to our children to do whatever we can to be here for them as long as possible. Taking care of ourselves is the best gift we can give our families. You know how I feel about the importance of maintaining mom mental health (date nights, kid-free time with friends, wine) and the same goes for our physical wellbeing. We need to go to the doctor, to get regular checkups, to follow up on any weird hunches, to get rest, eat well, exercise and, if we can, take whatever measures possible to cut our cancer risks. Because I can tell you, being a mom and having cancer is not a good combination."- Erin Zammett Ruddy
She wrote this blog post in reaction to the recent news that Angelina Jolie underwent a preventative double mastectomy after finding out that she had an 87% chance of developing breast cancer at some point in her life. Angelina went public with this news by writing about it in an op ed piece for The New York Times. Regardless of your opinions on Angelina, it was a remarkable thing for her to do this surgery for her family's sake, and to share it so openly with the public, in an effort to spread awareness to other women across the world. If you have not read her article, I highly suggest you do. Here's a link to it: http://www.nytimes.com/2013/05/14/opinion/my-medical-choice.html?src=me&ref=general&_r=0
I hope this post gives you moms who aren't taking care of yourselves, the kick in the pants you need to start putting your health first. :-)
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